“Twilight” rant 12: happily ignoring Bella’s self-destruction

July 6, 2009

Grief can make you do crazy things. Bella really goes through it when Edward and the Cullens blow out of town at the beginning of “New Moon.” She becomes almost completely dysfunctional to the point that months and months go by without her notice. She gradually recovers a bit when she starts hanging around with […]

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“Twilight” rant 11: the Cullens threaten us, Aro!

June 29, 2009

If you were a Volturi, what would you make of the Cullens? We know from “Twilight” that Carlisle stayed with the Italian vamps for a decade or two somewhat soon after he was transformed into a vampire. It sounds like he was Aro’s protégé. But the good doctor wouldn’t dine on humans, preferring to be […]

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“Twilight” rant 10: Bella’s blond ambition

June 22, 2009

I’ve been thinking about the back-and-forth comments between Rita and Deby at the end of Bella versus Rosalie. For one, who would have guessed that Madonna, who I believe is an amazing performer and is undoubtedly an incredible success in all ways measurable, could be such a lightening-rod for woman on woman strife? What is […]

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“Twilight” rant 9: vampires are all white?

June 14, 2009

I just love the preview for the “New Moon” movie that was recently released. It looks like it will be amazing! I always wonder about the Laurent character when I watch the preview or the first movie. He has a great look, but I thought that Steph made it pretty clear that vampires all turn […]

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“Twilight” rant 8: Edward and Bella condone murder

June 7, 2009

I for one don’t think that Edward is so great just because he’s given up drinking human blood. To me he seems pretty callus about life, especially his own. Why in the world would he try to have himself murdered by the Volturi after he thought that Bella had died? Wouldn’t it have made more […]

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“Twilight” rant 7: Carlisle doctoring Bella

May 31, 2009

Carlisle is a good guy. This may be the only thing that the Native American werewolves and the Volturi agree upon. Certainly Bella thinks that he’s great. Perhaps she’s biased. It must be handy to have a good looking sweet ER physician, who never tires or is short-tempered, hanging around when you’re a terrible klutz. […]

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“Twilight” rant 6: beautiful, exotic Leah

May 24, 2009

I feel bad for Leah. Her father dies of a heart attack in “New Moon.” Her lover, Sam, spurns her for her cousin, Emily, in the same book. She is forced to become a werewolf and have all of her most intimate thoughts exposed to all of those rowdy, harebrained teenage boys. She finally leaves […]

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“Twilight” rant 5: Bella versus Rosalie

May 18, 2009

What’s up with Bella and Rosalie? They are less than friendly in the first novel, “Twilight.” Yet by the close of “Breaking Dawn,” they’ve become the best of buds. For much of the series Bella is preoccupied with Rosalie’s beauty and seems very self-critical in comparison. We finally learn in “Eclipse” that Rosalie is completely […]

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“Twilight” rant 4: sex with Alice and Jasper

May 10, 2009

Now I don’t know about you, but I think that the Alice/Jasper story is amazing. It is uber romantic–she’s been looking for him for years though they’ve never met. He’s been lost and in emotional anguish for decades because of his unhealthy diet. (He’s got an excellent name, too!) They truly are the perfect couple. […]

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“Twilight” rant 3: Edward is Charlie, but better!

May 3, 2009

Charlie is such a dad. Pretty cool, but still, you know, he’s dad-style. He doesn’t really bug Bella much when she first moves in and litters the bathroom with her hair care products and whatnot. He seems positively unconcerned about her massive injury on the night of her eighteenth birthday after Jasper attacks her. He […]

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