New Moon for the blue moon

by Stevie on December 22, 2009

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Yep. I loved the film. Hegui and I went the first night that New Moon opened at the huge Cineplex in the new downtown San Francisco shopping center. It was the 9:30PM show so was mostly teen girls, adult women, a sprinkling of uncomfortable boyfriends and some hip gay guys. We were with the last group, of course. We waited in line for “good seats” for about an hour before showtime. There were maybe only about 200 people in front of us.

Unlike for the Twilight movie, our audience was quiet for most of New Moon; only gasping a few times, especially when Taylor Lautner pulled his shirt off the first time to show off his eight-pack while ostensibly helping Bella with her bleeding forehead. Do you think that B’s head injury was too severe for her to notice how smoking hot Jacob’s gotten? No, I don’t think so either. Taylor Lautner is a man now, not just a man-child. A friend from school went with a gay guy friend of hers to New Moon the other day. She claims he gasped and cried out “I want a puppy, too!” during that scene, making the whole audience crack up. I wish I’d thought of that, though I’ve already got a dog, and Clarence’s not good with playmates.

A bunch of my friends are still voting for “Team Jacob,” but I pity them. He’s so dull compared to Eddie and the Cullens. Just a pretty boy with a hot temper; I think that he has potential domestic violence perpetrator written all over his werewolf self. Look what happened to Emily and Sam! That’s a scary story. I’m still sweet on Edward/Robert Pattinson. I don’t believe any of the rumors that he smells or that he and Kristen Stewart are an item. (Let’s face it; she’s too sophisticated for him.) He was so funny on Ellen the week the movie hit theatres. He’s so dreamy. I still fantasize about having his hair and excellent bone structure, too.

Aside from the whole heartthrob angle, New Moon has a lot going for it. It made a fortune, apparently. Good for you, Steph! Now that you’re completely loaded, will you pay off my student loans?!? It looked better than the first movie. I still don’t get that. Twilight’s a love story yet the film’s so dark and gloomy. Edward and Bella look upset all the time or perhaps severely constipated. What’s that about? This time around, when the book’s a total downer, the movie was bright and playful. Jessica and Chief Swan were really funny and cute. I loved the way the vampire eyes almost glowed. And they finally dressed Edward up well! (Though there was a major blunder with Alice’s dress for the Italian adventure. Nobody looks good in horizontal stripes. Eew!) Victoria looked completely hot! Her hair was on fire. I even liked the cheeseball view of Christ the Redeemer outside Ed’s window in Rio. It looked like it was made of cheap plastic and lighted from inside like a Santa Clause lawn ornament. That’s taking the kitsch factor to a new level! Congratulations, New Moon!

I’ve seen the movie twice so far and have made a “Jacob v. Edward” movie date for the week between Christmas and New Years, sort of around the blue moon. You are so misguided Jocelyn!

Can’t wait for Eclipse the movie in June 2010! Viva Edward Cullen!

Check out these Twilight rants!

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Sharon December 22, 2009 at 9:37 am

Okay, I’ll admit it: I *really* did not like the Twilight movie, for all of the reasons you mentioned and more. Had my doubts, then, about going to see New Moon…but it had werewolves in it, so I was compelled. What a delightful surprise! And yes, I’m one of those misguided souls who votes “Team Jacob”, though I know my side is doomed. Taylor just melts the screen…no CG-sixpack for him, unlike his pale, mopey co-star. 😛

ritatower December 22, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Oh my, I like your write up about the film. I really liked the New Moon Movie and thought it played out a lot like the book did in my head! Jacob is totally hot but so is Edward in so many different ways–they can’t be compared-just like you can’t compare a lot of people to each other because each one is unique. Did you know the girl who plays Jessica got a huge role in “Up in The Air,” with George Clooney? She’s got a lot more eyes looking her way now after the Twilight films!
Interesting, I wonder where the other’s careers will head?

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